black for a reason

Where to be?

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

This is a question I long to know, and something that I am still pondering on. Just wanted to share with you what I have recently discovered.

I have been called to take up Computer Science as my first degree (which I might write about it one day), and later then during my years in UPM, I have been given the burden to make a difference in campus. God has miraculously arranged me to learn many things through difference positions and places during these three years of grace (that's what I called my undergraduate years). I have been given a second chance in building a relationship with God, learning to be like Christ Jesus. It is an amazing experience in knowing Him, and seeking for His will.

It's been sometime, I have been repeatedly asking God this question, "Where to be?". I have the idea of making a difference by serving as a government university lecturer, and has been looking for opportunities to achieve this. First I thought of getting myself tied with a government scholarship contract, where I will have to fulfill the contract by serving them for few years if I got accepted as a NSF scholar. Nevertheless, God has denied this move. Later on, I just realised one day, a thought just came into my mind, saying "If I want you to be lecturer, I will give it to you surely. Why you a step ahead and try to solve it? I can give you directly. You don't need to find ways to achieve this."

Indeed, just one day later, I was told by my ex-schoolmate where my ex-faculty has many vacancies as tutors. So I did applied, and even met up with my ex-Head of Department to discuss of the possibility of joining his department. His reply was rather positive, and therefore I submitted my application to the office, letting them handle the rest. Nevertheless, God has given a "No No" on this. I wasn't called for interview.

Where to be, then? I am sure that 6 to 12 months later I will surely graduate with my second degree and it's time to move on. Full time study in Bible college? I doubt so, I believe that God will use me with the two pieces of certificates in certain area. So full time shouldn't be possible for a start. Of course, part time study is really something I would put into consideration. What else then? Where to be?

I assure you, this is getting more erry (in a way). To a certain extend, I do not deny that I have been avoiding an issue - Mission. I always assume that I will be in Malaysia, and in Klang most probably. But recent events have really shaken up this shallow idea. Somehow, every meeting that I attended, every sermon I listened to, has been very precious to me.

David Harley was among us in KPC two weeks ago, and he spoke on mission (yes he did!). At that moment, I was reminded of the fact that many of us (so that means 'us' includes me) has pushed aside the consideration of being involved in mission. He spoke on China too, where foreign professionals (instead of missionary) can easily enter the country. He stated that Chinese over China has great demand in learning English, and we can easily enter the country by teaching English.

As the Kluangnites came over to celebrate Deparaya with us, I was asked to bring them around and that includes attending Rev. Stephen Tong's Bible Expository on the book of Romans. Some of you should know, I never attended the bible expository. Nevertheless, He has spoken on mission (again), and touches on China (again). When meeting ended, I saw a stall selling the John Sung's biography which I really looking forward to purchase, though I felt that the price of RM30 was a bit too expensive to buy. The sister later then explain to me about the pricing factor, and offered me a Sundar Singh's book, which I grab it straight as it's only RM10. Just finish paying the book, I just then realised, it's a book on mission (again). Maybe here I need to clarify a bit, I do know who is Sadhu Sundar Singh, and what he did. The reason I bought the book (other than the pricing factor :), was knowing that it is great to read about his life. Though, I didn't realised, it's mission (again).

Alright, until here it is. Mission is the topic I need to understand more. Though it doesn't mean that I will be a missionary, but I know this is something I need to learn and understand. Then I might have, a better view of - the Great Comission.



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